Still, part of me hoped that you, your family and friends could be capable of pulling the blanket over our eyes.
Probably I’ve stopped being in shock. Which would explain why the distance, memories and aborted plans are a genuine hurt. I’m happy when I think of the person who’s commented on my facebook, tumblr and twitter these past two years, a voice I’ve hit ‘play’ on and laughed with, a name I’ve brought up with pride, fondness and anticipation. I’m wretched when I think of all the things we half did, places we didn’t go, and most of all, that I’d always been dimly aware of the reason why you’re gone, yet waited all this time to hear in person. Now I won’t get to hear it because even if you’re rocking out with me in the future, I might never know.
This pain is a selfish emotion because you could be having a ball now, free of all antagonisms. It hurts because where I might have bought a bank-breaking ticket, I don’t really get to choose anymore… But I miss you for the man I knew, the man I had yet to know and the man who is so very precious to many of us.
My dear Terry, thank you and take care. I’ll keep the Starcraft channel on for you. You loved many things so I’ll remember to save a share for you.
Till next time.